This is the third poem in a 4-part series on the concept of AROMAS… and how scents can trigger old things. Good things, bad things, Great Things. Don’t worry, they aren’t all this intense. But I believe the mark of a strong mama is an emotionally healthy mama, and in order to be that we have to go to the dark places and slaughter the demons. I refuse to be afraid of the pain. I will face it head on and Christ will meet me and fight for me in the places of agony. And, funny thing, they become very tiny once Jesus has had His Way in those areas of my heart. He is Light and light reveals so healing can take place. This poem is just a reflection on an old pain. Don’t fret for me. I’m at peace with my past, have forgiven my abuser, had tons of Christian counseling and am a whole woman in Christ.
i had never known another human who used so much cologne all over your body several times a day even the private places you slathered with scent and when you were done exacting your perversions on my child-frame your scent lingered like a cloak of filth like the embrace of shame you left on my personhood time after time and your man-stench was so hard to get off no matter how hard i tried it just clung and closed in like a tomb enveloping me in the thick silent rage of self-loathing
If this poem triggers something for you and you live in the Baltimore/DC area please, PLEASE find help here. For national help look here. For my readers in Europe I tried to find resources for you but to no avail. Please get help and know if this is your issue and you reply to this post I will pray for you. You are not alone and healing, forgiveness and healthy relationships are possible!