“The Soul will bring forth person if God laughs into her and she laughs back at Him.” Meister Eckhart
i remember the first time you laughed at something i did…
we were in the bathroom, and i was drying my face with a towel, as i uncovered it the surprise brought out a startled giggle from you… a tiny little burst of volcanic joy…
like a backwards echo the giggle seemed to come from the room and find itself in your 6 month old mouth…
i did it again and you laughed again… harder now…
your small baby-plump body shaking with the sugar of discovery…
and i laughed too, surprised by your surprise… and i was suddenly so full of the knowledge that i was your mother and you were my daughter… and nothing could ever
take us away from us
somehow the laughter brought this out… this us-ness…
and the entire moment was charged with our unique place in the world and with each other
and you were cackling so frenetically
and our eyes were locked,
both of us tearing up and caught up in this swift wisp of hysterical happiness
you fell, laughing, into me…
your tiny arms hugging me and holding on to my shirt
your personhood was so alive to me, so seared on my heart
and the laughter gave way to giggles and the giggles,
chuckles and the chuckles, chortles and the chortles a low hum of joy…
until there was only mother and daughter
eyes clasped as tightly as our embrace
smiling together.